Best Friends
by Slurpee Monster
Summary: This is a oneshot about Purple and Red's friendship as they try to handle a problem with the Massive.


**Best Friends **

Why were the walls glowing red... again? It had been happening for a while, off and on. The air was stifling hot too, but no one had said anything was wrong. Even Red seemed relaxed, lounging in his chair eating a bag of chips as the lowly Irken drones fanned him.

"Have you been to the bridge recently Red?" Purple asked. The other Tallest shook his head, still munching.

"Nope."

"I'm going to go check it out," Purple said heading towards the shiny metal doors.

The halls were very quiet… maybe a little too quiet Purple decided as he drifted from the room. The control room was at the end of the hallway; it had the biggest doors. When Purple tried to get them open however, he couldn't. He tried a little harder, ramming his shoulder against the cold metal until it finally gave way.

He fell forward and landed face down on the ground. Groaning a little, he raised his head to see what the problem was and found the Irkens that were supposed to be controlling the Massive all slumped unconscious in their seats. The wide screen was blazing with bright oranges and yellows from an upcoming sun, and Purple let out a squeak of surprise (thank goodness no one was there to hear it) before climbing back to his feet. He shook one of the Irkens roughly, but the pilot didn't even stir.

"What's wrong with you!?" he questioned. He turned around, and tripped on a spherical device. It was made of a heavy kind of metal, though it appeared hollow. The top, or lid of the device, had fallen off. Purple picked it up and looked it over.

"Isn't this a knock-out container?" he asked himself. How did one of these get in here?

"Red!" Purple shouted. "I think you better get in here!"

The other Tallest appeared a short time later, rubbing one of his eyes lazily.

"What is it Purple?" he asked.

"Everyone is unconscious," Purple replied holding up the metal device. "And I found this on the floor. We've been flying through space without anyone controlling the Massive!"

Red snatched the strange container from Purple and took a close look at it.

"I guess this means we'd better get someone else at the controls then."

"But no one else has been trained to fly this thing," Purple replied glancing at the screen that had been engulfed by the image of flames from the burning sun. The walls reflected the intense heat, turning bright red. The ship's interior groaned in protest… it wouldn't be long before the walls began to give out. They had flown through at least three stars already.

Just then the screen began to flash.

"We're getting a message?" Purple questioned searching for the button that would make it appear on the monitor.

"There must be an instruction manual in here somewhere," Red reasoned.

"I think it's this one," Purple said pushing one of the smaller blue buttons on a panel in front of an unconscious Irken. The large monitor flickered, and the screen lit up. They had made the connection.

"My Tallest, I have new information about these disgusting Earth-pigs!" Zim began, and Purple eagerly began pushing the button over and over again in hopes of cutting the transmission.

"Good going Purple… you didn't even read where the message was coming from," Red stated folding his arms irritably across his chest. He turned around to face Zim not even bothering to mask his annoyance.

"We're busy Zim," Red stated evenly, narrowing his eyes at the small Irken on the screen as if he was trying to will Zim to 'go away.'

"They seem to be even more interested in this "friendship" than Zim first realized," the Tallest's unwanted pest continued. "For starters, these meat bags that have been "friends" for a very long time give each other these primitive metal rope things. They're both broken, but when they put them together it makes words which say "Best Friends." Zim thinks he can use this information to…"

The transmission was cut-off when Purple was finally able to find the right button. For some reason it hadn't been the same button as before, but that didn't matter now. Breathing a sigh of relief, Purple leaned against the controls with a self-satisfied look on his face.

"Say Purple," Red began giving his fellow Tallest a placid look. "Wouldn't you say we're pretty much best friends?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean we've been friends for a very long time now."

"I guess so… We've known each other since we were smeets."

Purple stared at Red for a while, making the other Tallest feel kind of uncomfortable.

"You aren't really taking what Zim said seriously are you?" Purple finally asked.

"No!" Red immediately snapped. "I would never take anything Zim says seriously!"

"Oh… because I was kind of thinking that the Earth-creature's idea was kind of interesting… I mean it definitely wasn't Zim's own idea!"

Red scratched his chin thoughtfully. "That's a good point actually."

The Massive groaned, and its entire structure shook violently which knocked both of the Tallest off balance and sent them careening into the farthest wall from the door. Red hit the wall first, and Purple might have too if Red hadn't been in the way.

"Purple…" Red said flattening his antenna against his head to show his irritation. "Why haven't we dealt with the control problem?"

"Because we were interrupted by Zim," Purple replied as he regained his balanced and moved out of the way so Red could return to the controls.

Four stars later, the Massive was left in a terrible state. The snack pods had broken apart; a lot of the outside metal had been melted, and the glass which shielded them from space debris in the control room was horribly cracked. It was only then that one of the Irkens in charge of the controls opened his eyes.

Red grabbed the Massive's pilot roughly by the collar. "Take the controls now!" he ordered, and the frightened Irken quickly complied. When they had reached the safety of their home planet Irk; Red delighted in launching all of the crew members into outer space.

"So what exactly happened?" Purple asked before taking a drink of his Irken soda. There was a silver chain dangling from his neck, and Red was wearing a similar one. At first both of the chain's pendants appeared broken, but if you held them side by side they read "Best Friends."

"One of the drones decided to play a trick on the pilots with the knock-out box," Red replied grabbing a donut from the box they had between them.

"Is that why you launched everyone into space?"

"Yup."

Purple took another drink of his soda before reaching for a donut of his own.

"You know, we can't let Zim see us wearing these things," he said.

"Mm hm," Red responded; his mouth full of donut.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** I don't have much to say about this one. I'm a fan of Red and Purple friendship as you can see. They stole our brilliant necklace technology. Those Irkens and their stealing! 


End file.
